Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
