My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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