quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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