So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
