Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize