I think I died a long time ago.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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