So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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