I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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