Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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