i permit you to call me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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