The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
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It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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