He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
