In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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