just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So. Much. Porn.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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