is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i dont even know how to be here
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
