Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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