i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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