she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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