hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
