"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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