i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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