Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
