Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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