everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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