no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
