Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
