Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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