My room smells like vodka and shame
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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