apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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