Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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