I don't remember. Are we still dating?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
