I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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