My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Someone came in the potted fern
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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