I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He did a backflip because drugs
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