dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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