sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
