More tranny stories later!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
