How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
