It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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