And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
