this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
