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i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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