I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
