I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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