no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
