I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
