i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend