My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet