Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...