love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?