Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
