shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
