Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
