What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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