I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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