I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
