oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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