So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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