yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
