Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize