thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
