Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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