the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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