I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize