; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
