Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
