perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
